Practising Gratitude From a Place of Fear and Lack
We so often hear it said ‘Practise Gratitude’ ‘Be Grateful’ ‘See the best in everyday’.
I know well though, what it is like when there are long dark days, when it feels as if you’re treading water just to stay afloat, when the bills were due yesterday and your bank account shows even less than zero.
And then, having to go in to work, in an environment that you despair off, with colleagues you simply put up with. When you come home to screaming, crying children and a spouse who can no longer find their smile….and then you wonder, ‘Just how can I see yourself saying Thanks for this life?’
I know it well.
And yet I am here to tell you that, YES… you can start looking at the things in your life differently. Slowly and one step at a time, you can start learning to find things for which to be grateful. Here’s how,
1. Consciously take a different perspective
Yes, the bills to pay are mounting up and the rent is due, but say Thanks with as much Gratitude in your heart when you think of the safe sheltered home, in which your family dwells.
Think of the utility bills and say Thank You for the heat that warms your house and the electricity for the television that keeps your children entertained. Say Thank You for the hot water in the long relaxing bath that your wonderful spouse so thoroughly deserves.
Think of all that you gain and try to take the perspective that paying the rent and utility bills is simply the least that you could do for the comforts you and your family gain.
2. Look for the joys, no matter how small
Perhaps you have a job that you don’t particularly enjoy and feel stuck because for now, well, it pays the bills.
While it may be difficult at first, perhaps think about how your day is so much better for simply getting out of the house with a destination and a purpose. Perhaps there’s a security guard who is particularly friendly, or a colleague who brings you coffee, say with gratitude in your heart a bountiful thanks, for they bring joy and colour to your life.
Tell yourself that this job is merely a little stepping stone on your journey to the luxurious banks on the other side of the river. Every little step plays a role and all that you learn here will serve you in your journey in this life, and give thanks for this too.
There are joys all around us, even in the most difficult of circumstances, look for them, smile and give thanks.
3. Believe in the Good
Sometimes when clouds are dark and heavy in the sky, it is hard to believe in the bright sunshine that will come piercing through and yet, without fail, then sun will always make it’s presence known.
And so it is and so it will be, with all the good and beautiful in our lives. It may not be right here, right now, but it will nonetheless come when the time is right.
Imagine if there were no dark storms and clouds to bear, we certainly would not feel so grateful or joyous at the coming sunshine. Similarly, our darkest times are often times of our greatest lessons. As the saying goes, ‘There would be no rainbows without any rain’.
4. Embrace the Unknown
Learning to embrace the unknown, learning to trust and believe that each and every moment is exactly as it should be, is the most challenging thing that I have had to learn.
And yet somehow, relinquishing control and learning to accept that after you have done all that you can do, all that is left is acceptance of whatever the outcome may be, is surprisingly liberating.
Embrace the unknown and open your heart to all possibilities.
Finally…
I hope that these four simple steps will help you as much as they have helped me. I hope too that you may find some place in your heart for all the amazing things that happen in all our lives every day.
I would love to hear your thoughts on practising gratitude, is it something that comes naturally to you or has it been something you have learnt on your journey? Either way, do share your story in the comments. Click To Tweet.
Take care and be happy!
September 20, 2013 @ 9:30 am
Hi Li-ling, you have great messages to share 🙂 I like what you said in tip #3 “there would not be any rainbows without any rain”. Indeed it is true. In the same manner, shadows show up where there is light.
September 20, 2013 @ 10:06 am
Oh Evelyn, how true about the shadows and the light! I guess it really is learning to accept and revel in both. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
September 23, 2013 @ 8:06 pm
Li-ling – yes, the joys in the smallest of things! Let’s celebrate getting to work on time, minimal traffic on the road, having a job, and other simple life pleasures. When we continue to see joy in small things, we begin to see joy in other aspects of our life. Then, even challenging problems and difficulties become joy. Gratitude is a practice – how are we going to get good at it? Doing more of it:)
Gratitude has become so critical that it’s one of the regular daily habits that i do everyday. A morning dose of gratitude helps start the day off right.
September 24, 2013 @ 12:37 pm
Vishnu! Hello! I love it – Practise practise practise. Agreed. Definitely the best way of getting good at something, especially something as important as Gratitude definitely deserves everyday practise 🙂
My gratitude practise ends my day, but I can see how using it to start off your day is a great way forward too.
September 29, 2013 @ 4:35 am
Wonderful. I think #4 poses most people the greatest challenge. Which is hardest for you?
September 29, 2013 @ 8:25 pm
Hello Diana! Thank you for commenting. I too believe that for most people, and for me too (!) embracing the unknown is probably one of the hardest things to do. I have slowly learnt to come to terms with this by practising mindfulness as often as I can. It somehow always brings me back to this moment and keeps my thoughts from running away too much. What about you? Which do you find hardest?
September 29, 2013 @ 9:15 pm
Ditto here.