Why We Need To Let Go of What We Truly Want
Yesterday on my Facebook page, I came across a beautiful picture and post that spoke about how we don’t ever yearn and cajole the sun to rise, we simply trust in the knowing that it will, every morning.
It reminded me of how we often find ourselves tremendously worked up and wound up about what we want or need to achieve when we have identified our goals and aspirations.
Perhaps it is in the nature of how our society works and how we have always been taught to work hard and that all that we ever need to achieve our desires is to focus all of our energies in to working to the end goal.
I, too used to be a fervent believer in the sanctity of working hard. That is until I too experienced the amazing impossibilities of synchronicities, how things happen and how solutions present themselves, completely beyond the possibilities of our human control.
Much has been said about the Law of Attraction, a great many books, audios and videos have been produced and shared detailing it’s nature and the myriad of ways in which it works.
Less though has been said about the importance of ‘letting go’, which I have found and learnt to be the biggest, potentially the most important step in manifesting.
Letting go is not about ‘forgetting your idea’ or ‘giving up on the dream’.
It’s really about being ‘easy’ about what it is that is to come.
It is really about learning to trust that whatever your desire, whatever your hearts secret hopes, dreams and wishes; they are already yours, you simply have to open up, relax in to the knowing that it is coming and enjoy every present moment.
I had a great reminder of this as I observed our Yorkshire Terrier Ollie a couple of weeks ago.
He is fairly typical of terriers, of a guarded, possessive nature, especially when it comes to his ‘favourites’.
As a treat we gave him a rawhide chew, something he absolutely loves. However as it is an occasional treat, he often gets very protective of it. Guarding, snapping and generally being very unfriendly to anyone who happens to come near the vicinity of his treat.
Now, because of this behaviour, we often feel threatened and worried about the consequences of him actually biting. So much so that, every time he starts behaving that way, we start plotting how we can remove the raw-hide chew from him. (Generally one of us will lure him away, while the other quickly snatches and removes the treat).
The last time we had to remove the raw-hide chew from Ollie in this way, it occurred to me, that this is almost exactly to what it must be like when we are wanting, or when we desire something so greatly that we do all that we can to hold on to it.
Of course, we do not go around growling and snapping and generally being nasty, but without a doubt, emotionally we get very tense, and with that the equivalent feelings of fear and worry come along and so the things that we think of and focus on undoubtedly come true.
So here’s what I learnt from Ollie that day.
1. Ease in to it
In all that we want to achieve, especially when we have already identified the goals, hopes, dreams and aspirations. We also need to ‘ease in to it’. To be able to gently, as graciously as swans, ease in to the feeling of having already achieved it.
2. Be willing to let go
In easing in to the experience, we also need to be willing to let go of our tight hold on the reins and be open the all possibilities and probabilities that may open up in our path.
As we hold in our tight grasp our narrow perceptions of the path that we need to take to achieve our goals, we lose sight of the broader perspective, the greater possibilities that may occur, beyond and outside of our mind’s own potential solutions.
3. Be mindful, be present and enjoy the moment
As we move along the path, while our eyes may settle on a goal a little further down in the distance, we need to also be aware that we always, always live in the present moment.
To know that, all roads lead to your goal, all moments culminate at that meeting point and yet the only moment that is of the essence is the one that you are currently in.
4. Trust
Learning to trust that everything is working out exactly as it should be goes hand in hand with the ability to ‘let go’.
But once we can settle-in, learn to let go and trust that the everything is working out exactly as it should, amazing pathways open up and help us on our way.
And remember, take care and be happy
What are your greatest dreams and passions? And are you ready to ‘let go’?
As I chanced upon my neighbour in the supermarket this morning, her usual cheerful happy countenance had been replaced by a sombre, sad face, and I asked, as I always do, ‘How are you?’
In her soft, quiet tone of voice, barely above an audible whisper, she replied, ‘Not so good’.
Living in this busy, fast-paced modern world, it is so rare that someone admits, with openness to what they are really feeling. I know that I too am guilty of guessing and second guessing my emotions, before I typically brush all negativity aside and respond with ‘I’m great!’
And so I paused, took an hopefully imperceptible deep breath and asked, ‘What’s happened?’
Her story comes tumbling out, barely is there time for a breath before her tears start falling too. Her sister, several thousands of miles away, has passed away, shockingly, suddenly.
Her sister’s story
She had travelled to Cape Town, from St Helena, for laser surgery to her eyes, when the doctors determined that they needed to check her heart. It turns out she required a heart by-pass surgery, that they performed. Unfortunately she never fully recovered from the surgery and after two days, she passed away.
And so it leaves my dear friend, thousands of miles away, heart-broken and grief stricken, believing that she could have made a difference. ‘If only I were there,’ she said, more than once.
And although she thinks her grief is for her sister, it was in that really inspired teaching moment, that I came to realise, her grief was never only for her sister.
Her grief was also for herself
– the moments she believed things could have been different, if only she was there.
– the words that could have been said, if only she was there
– the love she could have held on to, if only she was there
and now that her sister was gone, all these possibilities were seemingly extinguished without any hope of ever being rekindled.
And so as I asked her, ‘In life, is this what your sister would have wanted you to feel?’
With a barely visible slow shake of her head, she said, ‘But I just wish, I could have seen her.’
And so here, with a close, heartfelt hug, I shared all that I knew, all that I was certain of.
1. Open the door to tears and pain and grief but know, know that the person or people you mourn for are perfectly fine, happy, healthy and free
There’s nothing wrong with crying, with feeling despair, sadness or grief.
Embrace each emotion, embrace each experience, but know that the pain you feel is but within yourself.
In time, all will be well again.
2. You choose everything that you believe
I said to her, ‘Your sister is free, she is happy and she is well now. Cry for her, mourn for her, if you must, but know that she does not need it.’
She asked, ‘I don’t know. I cannot yet believe that she is in joy and happiness, how do you do it?’
‘You see,’ I explained, ‘we have a choice. We can choose to believe that she is well and happy and experiencing the most joy she has ever felt. Or, we can choose to believe that she is in pain and in suffering and that she is being punished. When faced with these choices, which one would you choose?’
And through her tears, she nodded and whispered, ‘I would choose that she is happy.’
3. Let death be not a parting, but a celebration of the joy of a life well-lived
I have come to believe that there is nothing lost in death, for we are merely on our own journeys and life adventures. Death is but the beginning of yet another exciting adventure.
And so, I left my friend, I hope a little more calm, a little more soothed but also realising that I had learnt so many more lessons for myself in that brief encounter.
Take care, be well, and remember, live, live in celebration of your own life every day.
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Day by day, we so often live our emotions dictated by the reactions and responses of the people around us.
We feel hurt when others don’t agree with our point of view, or when someone says something off-hand and thoughtless. We almost always take it upon ourselves to bear the burden of emotion.
I’ll see you there, in that happy place
Where joy and happiness fill the air
Where laughter knows no bounds
I’ll see you there
Where smiles are shared
And hugs are free
Where colours light our world
I’ll see you there
Where life is lived with ease and light
Where flowers line our paths
I’ll see you there
Where raindrops fall and sunshine springs
To bless our very heart
I’ll see you there, my friend
Where we will always choose
All smiles and joy and happiness
For that is all that life should bring
Have you forgotten who you truly are?
If in this hasty life, where hurries and worries press upon your day,
Let me remind you of who you truly are,
For I remember.
I remember that…
You are the most beautiful, most amazing child of the Universe
You deserve above all else to live a joy-filled, happy, exciting life
This does not mean that you will never be sad or unhappy,
This does not mean there will never be bumps upon the road you travel
What it truly means is that
You deserve every smile, hug, grin and kindness that another shares with you
You deserve to enjoy the warmth of the sun and to dance in the rain
You deserve to gaze in awe at the millions of stars in the night sky
And listen in rapture to the song of a bird
You deserve to see the wonder in all that surrounds you
And above all, you deserve to remember
Remember, that there truly is no one else as special as you are.
If you enjoyed this poem, please do take a second and share it with your friends, Click To Tweet.
Take care, keep smiling and be happy.
When I was a young slip of a child in Primary school, we went through a mad phase of collecting each others autographs. The logic quite defies me now, as we were all going on to the same secondary school mainly, but the excitement of getting someone else to fill in your book with corny poems, decorate it with pretty stickers and oh the joy and pleasure in looking through just what this friend had to say about you, to you, for you – what fun!
I have recently been contemplating the word Work a lot and I have been wondering whether the word work conjures the same mental images for you as it does for me? You see, when I think of the word Work, I think of effort and difficulty and…not so much pain, but certainly not ease.
Whatever the circumstances of your life right now,
Believe, no, know that you are PERFECT exactly as you are.
For you are not your past, and
Your future is yet to be,
Be here right now,
in this present moment,
All is as it is meant to be.
If you enjoyed this poem, please do take a second to leave a comment and share it with your friends, Click To Tweet.
Take care, keep smiling and be happy.
Have you ever wondered who the Best Guru is?
The One who really knows his stuff, who has the perfect answer to every question
Affirmations or personal positive sayings repeated daily have been often used, by the New Age-Positive Thinking community as the prescription to a significant number of issues, ranging from low self esteem, to feelings of lack, to building better relationships and living a more abundant life.
A moment
is not counted in the seconds or minutes of a ticking clock
It is in the closeness of a hug, the breath of a kiss
The sweet smell of a newborn and the joy of a child’s laughter.
As we usher in the New Year, new goals, new resolutions, new beginnings… all the order of the day, at the start of a brand new year. In recent times though, there have been rumblings against the purpose of having goals. A couple of months ago Dilbert’s Scott Adams’ wrote in the Wall Street Journal – about the pointlessness of goals and how a ‘process’ is more helpful than a goal. (Hard to believe, but in the same article he also mentions how being passionate is over-rated).
Confidence (or the belief in one’s own abilities, self-belief) is often the only limiting factor between starting out on a brand new, exciting path or staying stuck in what’s painful yet familiar. It is that fine line that separates the can-dos from the wannabes and often the only major limiting factor on the road to success.
Happy New Year 2014!
As we usher in the New Year, new goals, new resolutions, new beginnings… all the order of the day, at the start of a brand new year. In recent times though, there have been rumblings against the purpose of having goals.